Alan King Marriage Quotations

I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights in a row. Then I took over. I used to mind her not caring about food, but no more - as long as I can eat what I want.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.