Bill Maher Want Quotations

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.

I'm just honest. They [asians] don't want to see black people generally in their movies.

Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?

Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?

That's ended, that's over. I want you to meet my pimps. I thought, I'm a show-business ho already, so I might as well be a real ho.

When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD. Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea.

I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents.

I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist.

You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

The thing I don't understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who's supposed to pretend they don't want it?

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it came down to Prozak versus Marijuana, Prozak would lose.

When you hear a lobby called Partnership for a Drug-Free America, just remember - they do not want a drug free America. They want an America free of drugs that are their competitors.

When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, 'I want to help you get teeth.' Why does that make me an a**hole?

I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.

Tt just seems to be human nature to seem to want to posit in another human being, qualities that you must know, in part of your mind, that human being couldn't possess because you don't possess.

This is my question for conservatives: don't you want to live, too?

If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.

The Hollywood executives are, like, 'We're not racist, we just have to pretend to be racists because we're capitalists. We want to sell our movies in China (and) they don't like Kevin Hart.

Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.