Dan Jenkins Golf Quotations

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

There have been so many great moments in golf that you even forget some of them.

The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting.

I quickly discovered that trying to go play golf while living in Manhattan was about as easy as trying to grab a taxi while standing out in front of Saks Fifth Avenue in the freezing rain on the last shopping day before Christmas.

Real golf is the 20 million people who play once a week or once a month.

My favorite sport, frankly, is college football. I'm a college football junkie, even though I'm associated with golf and like golf and have played it all my life.

Every golfer has at least 14 enemies: his clubs.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

Much of the fire with him [Ben Hogan] was lit by Byron Nelson, who came from the same town - the same caddie yard - and achieved fame and fortune several years ahead of Ben and who, as a kid, had always been popular and better liked than Ben. No puzzle at all.

I had always suspected that trying to play golf in the company of big-time pros and a gallery would be something like walking naked into choir practice.

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

I am among those who firmly believe that a round of golf should not take more than three and a half hours, four at most. Anything longer than that is not a round of golf, it's life in Albania.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

The golfer has more enemies than any other athlete. He has fourteen clubs in his bag, all of them different; 18 holoes to play, all of them different, every week; and all around him is sand, trees, grass, water, wind and 143 other players. In addition, the game is 50 percent mental, so his biggest enemy is himself.