Dave Barry Hilarious Quotations

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon