Doug Stanhope Trying Quotations

I don't ever want to become Bill Maher where I have to find some strong opinion on something just because it's in the news. That's the guy that comes off like you have to be angry every week about new topics and snotty about something. That's what I'm trying to avoid.

I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.

Did you ever try to sleep sober?

People talk to you and they try to convince you that they like what they do just because it sucks less than what they used to do... which sucked a lot.

If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it.

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.

Your sins are what make you fantastic. It's what makes you alive. You should wear your sins on your sleeve. You should be trying to top your sins on a daily basis.