Erma Bombeck Inspirational Quotations

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living.

He who laughs.....lasts.

I used everything you gave me.

Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.