Frank Carson Men Quotations

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.

A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."

A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window."

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."