George Carlin Inspirational Quotations

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

Matt 13:57. Then Jesus told them, 'A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family.' The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

Always do whatever's next.

I find it discouraging - and a bit depressing - when I notice the unequal treatment afforded by the media to UFO believers on the one hand, and on the other, to those who believe in an invisible supreme being who inhabits the sky.

Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big.

Meow” means “woof” in cat.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Is there another word for synonym?

Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?