I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
We all started on his show, ... Every solid comedian today really got their break on the Carson show.
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.