Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
A loafer always has the correct time.
There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
It's the good loser who finally loses out.
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.