Mark Twain Baby Quotations

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

There is nothing in either savage or civilized history that is more utterly complete, more remorselessly sweeping than the Father of Mercy´s campaign among the Midianites. The official report deals only in masses, all the virgins, all the men, all the babies. all ´creatures that breathe,´ all houses. all cities. It gives you just one vast picture ...as far as the eye can reach, of charred ruins and storm-swept desolation... Would you expect this same conscienceless God, this moral bankrupt, to become a teacher of morals, of gentleness, of meekness, of righteousness, of purity?

A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.

Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot; and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879

The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.