Oscar Wilde Sarcastic Quotations

Women are made to be loved, not understood.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

It is only by not paying one's bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes.

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

She is a peacock in everything but beauty!

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes.

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm.

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

All art is quite useless.

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

America is one long expectoration.

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

Really, if the lower orders don't set a good example, what on earth is the use of them?

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

Only the shallow know themselves.

Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.