I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.
All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.
Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't afford one.
I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.
My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.
My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.
On the way to the delivery room, I almost changed my mind about having a baby. I wouldn't have found it so hard to go ahead with it if I had realized that having a baby was the only way I could ever become a grandmother.
My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
All mothers are working mothers.
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."
I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.