Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things
Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
Funny, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
Life! Don't talk to me about life!
Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.
Generally, old media don't die. They just have to grow old gracefully. Guess what, we still have stone masons. They haven't been the primary purveyors of the written word for a while now of course, but they still have a role because you wouldn't want a TV screen on your headstone.
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.
Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.