Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.
My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me.
You shouldn't make jokes if it makes you so unhappy.
Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.
The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.
I'm not a man who constantly thinks up jokes
I'm more interested to show the darkest places of myself, and I don't joke about it.
Living is a pretty grim joke, but a joke just the same.
And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke.
At the shock of a joke, everything disappears but the present moment.
A joke is a joke or the image of a truth ...
A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond....
That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.
I wanted to be funny. And I'm always acknowledged for my pranks and jokes nowadays.
We have to joke about it because the alternative is to be scared
Trust Emmett to find the joke in the destruction of my life.
The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. they had become stories
Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.
We claim no respectability. There's no status I would not surrender for a joke. So we don't have to defend anything.
she doesn’t really have a sense of humor. I think she’d like to have one—it’s just that she doesn’t quite understand what jokes are for.
My greatest regret as a writer is that I've never been able to include as many jokes as I'd like.
I prefer sayings over jokes.
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.
You make a joke out of everything. Life’s too painful not to.
I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing.
Life is a joke that's just begun.
A poem is a serious joke, a truth that has learned jujitsu.
There were many times when I kept silent about being Jewish as I got older, when Jewish jokes were told.
It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.
I don't really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically.
Existentialists are monumentally and monotonously serious; they don't like to joke.
A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap.
Everything about life is a joke. Don't you know that?
When you asked me how I was doing, was that some kind of joke
Gentle dullness ever loves a joke.
Anybody here heard any good lawyer jokes recently?
Anyone here hear any good lawyer jokes lately?
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
... the majority of us scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than the faultiness of our own arguments, orthe dulness [sic] of our own jokes.
Fate seemed to be playing a series of extraordinarily unamusing jokes.
I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000, but I will not make that mistake again. The joke is over for Nader. He was funny once, but now he belongs to the dead.
A German joke is no laughing matter.
Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.
I can't stand not being able to joke around on set, so I have to.
Granting our wish is one of Fate's saddest jokes.
Why women don't blink during foreplay... not enough time.
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick up, I know you're there."
...the Gods too love a joke.
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.