Sarcastic Quotations | Page 4

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!

You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

Gaia spins on, silently contemplating what it means to be born into a sarcastic universe.

I have some sarcastic sides of me.

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.

He who desires nothing, hopes for nothing, and is afraid of nothing, cannot be an artist.

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.

I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

I will always love the false image I had of you.

Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.

The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.

We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.

I do sarcasm really poorly.

It was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I found it very manipulative and controlling. It put the other person constantly on-guard. And it was extremely intimidating because you never knew when she was going to snap. I made a mental note to refine these skills within myself.

He's liked, but he's not well liked.

Everything I write is personal, really. Even when I'm sarcastic, it's quite personal. And on this record, from the production to the singing to the performances, I got it really honest. To the modern ear, it seems soft. When you hear it against other things, it seems vulnerable. Lyrically and musically, though, this is more subtle. And, yes, it's asking a lot of someone who's used to being hit over the head with bright neon to listen to this.

Being attacked by him is like being savaged by a dead sheep.

Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost they feel they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way.

Milosevic was at times impassioned, caustic and sarcastic

For me, the main thing about Andy is that he's got that great combination of everyman with a subversive side to him, ... I think he's a guy you can relate to and pull for and yet he can be completely sarcastic and backhanded, and you totally love him for it.

We try to put humorous stuff in there. We try to reflect our personalities in the music and lyrics, and we're just weird, goofy guys. We don't want to give off that overly dark vibe. We want to get away from that and make it kind of fun. Our lyrics are very tongue in cheek and sarcastic and not overly serious.

He could dish it out like nobody, but he could take it too. He had that sarcastic sense of humor. When you first become his teammate, you see some things and wonder, 'Is he serious or is he joking?' He was always joking.

I think what has happened to him is out of line. They've blown this out of proportion big time. He didn't mean any harm. Anybody who knows him knows he's a sarcastic person. What he said was more of an analogy.

Instant gratification takes too long.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.

While [the Arians], like men sprung from a dunghill, truly "spoke from the earth" [Jn. 3:31], the bishops [of Nicea], not having invented their phrases for themselves, but having testimony from their fathers, wrote as they did. For ancient bishops, of the great Rome and our city [i.e., Alexandria, Egypt, where Athanasius was bishop], some 130 years ago, wrote and censured those who said that the Son was a creature and not consubstantial with the Father.

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.

She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did.

I'm the walkingest girl around. I like to work at it - really get my heart pounding.

A nasty letter or a sarcastic one can make you righteously angry, but what can you do about a polite letter of rejection? Nothing, really, except cry.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin.

The true God, the mighty God, is the God of ideas.

I am pretty sarcastic and pretty dry.

I watched Master Class with Lorne Michaels on OWN. How can somebody produce a sketch show and talk for an hour and not say something even slightly amusing, or sarcastic, or ironic, or interesting, or informative? 'My mission as a producer is to encourage creativity.' Mission accomplished.

Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is the place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government, and the common language is Dutch.

Yeah, he's in pain except between the first and ninth innings

He is brilliant - to the top of his boots.

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start..

Most of the time, the songs have jokes in them, little sarcastic things, or purposely kitsch or something. So that's going along with a story, like I do in life, just talking to myself and making fun of stuff and laughing at stuff that's serious. And sometimes it's a good idea to put the laughing into the songs. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's all right just to be serious. But most of the songs have some kind of joke in them.

When I read the script of Chandler, I thought WOW I can really shake hands with this guy. Chandlers a sarcastic guy, dry, funny - a guy who's not comfortable unless he's joking and hiding the emotional stuff that's going on with him. And Yeah, I can relate to that a bit.

Bradley's public tone is condescending, sarcastic and above-it-all. He tried to ignore Gore's jabs for a long time but now he has hit back with a vengeance.

Even sarcastic play is not allowed - the referee cannot accept that.

I started out doing things like 'Flash Forward,' where I was the girl-next-door, and then, I did a show called 'Higher Ground,' where I played this really mean, sarcastic girl. Then 'Firefly' happened, and everybody thought of me as this bubbly, sweet girl-next-door again.

scar tissue that i wish you saw sarcastic Mr. Know-it-all

At a turbulent public meeting once I lost my temper and said some harsh and sarcastic things. The proposal I was supporting was promptly defeated. My father who was there, said nothing, but that night, on my pillow I found a marked passage from Aristotle: Anybody can become angry--that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -- that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

That kind of ticked me off and I thought they're blasting all the guys so I say something sarcastic back... a sarcastic response to something I thought was insulting to every man in America.

After Wayne Rooney's recent sending-off for a sarcastic gesture, are there any other examples of sardonic play being punished?

I'm good at being sarcastic with guys. They don't want the quiet, prissy little things.

I hear those sarcastic remarks throughout the game. People say that the Twins got a bad batch and all that. I hear that stuff. But who cares? All I care about is winning.

If you really look at humor, that's what most of it is anyway. Somebody wisecracking at somebody else. Putting them down. If you look at all the sitcoms, that's all sitcoms are today. Things never change. Sardonic, sarcastic humor is always prevalent. It's hard to do something funny without being that way. It's classier if you didn't have to resort to it, I think.

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life.

Where others have hearts, he carries a tumor of rotten principles.

Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.

She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.

If I didn't kick his ass every day? he wouldn't be worth anything.

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.

I am tired of reading reviews that call A Good Man brutal and sarcastic. The stories are hard but they are hard because there is nothing harder or less sentimental than Christian realism.... when I see these stories described as horror stories I am always amused because the reviewer always has hold of the wrong horror.

very funny my sarcastic friend

You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock." "Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone.

Hey, pretty thing," he said. "What's in the bag?" "Holy water," said Jace, reappearing beside her as if he'd been conjured up like a genie. A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. "Oooh, a Shadowhunter," said the vampire. "Scary." With a wink he melted back into the crowd. "Vampires are such prima donnas," Magnus sighed from the doorway. "Honestly, I don't know why I have these parties." "Because of your cat," Clary reminded him. Magnus perked up. "That's true. Chairman Meow deserves my every effort.

A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude. -Clary, pg.243-

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

You have sensible women here [in England] but then, they are very devils--censorious, uncharitable, sarcastic--the women in Scotland have twice--thrice their freedom, with all their virtue--and are very conversable and agreeable--their educations are more finished.

His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it.

I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland.

Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he thought despairingly. In Russia you always knew. If a man made a stern face he was threatening; if he was laughing uproariously, he was joking.

Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

She was developing what Mom called a bit of a sarcastic streak.

Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.

In my work, and in my psyche, there's some very sentimental, traditional, conventional side that's always in argument with a more radical, sarcastic side. Some of my stories are really sentimental, but they're layered over with weird, satirical stuff.

I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.

Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.

He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.

It's so normal for a teenager to dress in black -- and be real unhappy and stay in your room and say sarcastic things. How could something so normal be considered morbid?

I can be very dry and sarcastic.