Al Yankovic Quotations | Page 2

The music has always been my bread and butter, and I've focused more of my attention on that.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they're not afraid of wolves.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, "Yes, of course they have, they've thought of it!"

It's hard to force creativity and humor.

Beans, beans, the magic legumes - the more you ingest, the more you consume.

As a wise man once said, "April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads."

I'm a music fan, and I can listen to the radio, or music, without thinking, "How am I going to screw this up?" [Laughs] If I'm really actively trying to think of a parody, then I'll have my antenna out, and be a little more proactive about it.

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

I think my chances of getting into the Rock 'N' Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli's.

I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.

There aren't that many superstars around anymore.

I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits - and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.

I like to think that I've gotten better at what I do. I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it's stayed the same.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes.

My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

My wife went off with Elvis.

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

I'm always a little leery about doing shows where I'm not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes. After that, I made the decision to headline no matter what, even if I was playing to seven people. I wanted people to be there to see me.

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It's always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily - which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters because you're supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go "Oh, it's 'Weird Al.'"

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

A lot of my cartoon voices are basically just variations on my natural voice.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

I don't watch anything on a regular basis - I tend to binge-watch things.

I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

I've always enjoyed animation and voiceover work. That's something that I've been proactive about.

People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.

I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world - even shows that haven't been on the air for a very long time, that's going to be harder to pull off.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got Could see all kinds of things other people could not! So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

I'm known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

It's hard to really articulate what the parameters are that make one song parody-able and another song not, but if I can come up with a good enough idea for it, I go for it, and if not, then I have to move on.

By the time I'm in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.