Alice Roosevelt Longworth Quotations

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.

If you can't think of anything nice to say, come sit here beside me.

You can't make souffle rise twice.

[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

If you have nothing good to say about anyone, come and sit with me.

If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.

You can't make a souffle rise twice.

[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

... [woman suffrage] has made little difference beyond doubling the number of voters. There is no woman's vote as such. They divide up just about as men do.

I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice. I cannot possibly do both.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.