Art Buchwald Quotations

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.

I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.

I know it's very egocentric to believe that someone is put on Earth for a reason. In my case, I like to think I was.

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man does not drive, there is something wrong with him.

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

I don't know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it's the only time you've got. You can either sit on your expletive deleted or pick a daisy.

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies