Chris Hardwick Quotations

Videogames make you feel like you're actually doing something. Your brain processes the tiered game achievements as real-life achievements. Every time you get to the next level, hot jets of reward chemical coat your brain in a lathery foam, and it seems like you're actually accomplishing stuff.

I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes - 'Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!' - I'm way into.

For me personally, I have a fear of, 'If I stop, I'm going to die.' If I stop doing the things that are enriching to me or creatively exciting to me or if I stop creating, then I feel stagnant. If something isn't growing, it's dying.

Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.

I think when I look out and I see there's so much negativity in the world and a lot of people are unhappy and a lot people are anxious, it just feels like that's one view of the world. But you don't have to always focus on that view of the world.

Comic-Con is nerd Christmas. People go wanting to have fun.

While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.

I had a personal blog, but why does anyone care that I went shopping for hats?

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

In the end, all that time I spent in the 'Star Wars' universe fostered galaxies of creativity and made me a better person here on Earth, because it taught me that everyone counts. That's why I can sincerely and with a straight face say: 'May the Force be with you.'

Freelancers are 'free' because they take risks - they don't like being told what to do. That's both exciting and daunting, because you have to police you.

Any nerd who grew up around the time that I did, BBC programming was a treasure chest for us.

Traditionally nerd-based culture is now a big sector of pop culture.

I think being an outcast is what sort of strengthens the nerd movement, because you're isolated, so you have time.

My best friend, Wil Wheaton, identifies himself as a geek.

It's funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked 'Doctor Who,' I didn't realize how deep the fan base was.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

If you can build your career around your passions, then you're winning in life; that's one of the best things you can ask for.

Comic-Con is interesting because there's so much going on at once, it's literally impossible to do everything. You need clones and some sort of hoverboard so you can surf over the crowd of packed-in nerds.

Even before I had an assistant, my calendar was color-coded and I had all these different e-mail rules for how to prioritize e-mails, so I made it a point years ago to figure all that stuff out because my life was a mess.

My father was one of the greatest professional bowlers of all time. Seriously. Billy Hardwick: PBA Hall of Fame, Player of the Year in '63 and '69, and the first winner of the triple crown of bowling, among other things.

When you first start working, you take whatever job is offered, because you have to build your resume. But you don't think about what you're building.

Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.

Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn't play sports - for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.

I do find some of the meanest, most exclusionary people are the nerds. And they rebel against other nerds! What are you doing? As much as I love nerds and the nerd movement, the nerd-on-nerd violence is really bad. A lot of times, nerds are the meanest ones online. And also, the trolling can be very extensive because they're smart.

I got more recognized for that commercial (Miller Makes It Right!) than any tournament I won, ... The 1960s was the glamour decade for bowling. We got as much attention and money as any sport. And there were no helmets, so we were easily recognizable and would get stopped everywhere.

I can't make up for the 10 years I missed, but I'm trying not to miss any more. I was the best bowler in the world for eight years and had as good a career as anyone who ever played the game. I've been a very fortunate person.

Well, you know he was just being nice. That was the only steak I had that year.

We're doing what we do now because we like it and it's fun,

You don't need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.

To this day, there is nothing about Rebecca I don't like,

Everything changed - my life, my priorities, my values,

It took away my desire and will to be the best bowler in the world,

I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.

As a comedy nerd, I get a lot out of the podcast because I'm genuinely interested in the people I'm talking to.

I'm fascinated by people's process. Everyone's process is a little bit different, and just to see the different paths that people take to get where they are is really interesting to me.

I'm just gonna do a podcast because it's mine, I can control it, I have complete responsibility over it, and no one can touch it.

One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.

Television and movies just take so long. If you pitch a show or develop a project, it can be a year before your show even gets on the air, if it gets picked up. Just the concept of "I had this idea" and within a week it was in the world, that was a part of why it felt weirdly empowering as a performer.

Stand-up for me is usually a weekend thing. I go out of town and just do it.

I think people have this stereotypical idea in their head of what a nerd is. People have said to me before, "You're not a nerd!" because I think they think of the classic Revenge Of The Nerds archetype.

Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, "Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up!" And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.

Twitter is really a hyper-distilled version of how the internet should work - short bursts of relatively useful information.

I feel like being nerd is not about the superficial quality; it's about how nerds approach life. It's much more emotional and mental than it is you're some fat guy living in your mom's basement, which I think is just a hacky stereotype.

If you have laser-like brain it's not always focused on the most productive things. If you want to play Halo: Reach all day, that's fine, but if you want to accomplish some other things, here are some ways to do that using your innate nerd gifts.

I categorize nerds as creative-obsessive. A lot of nerds are creative people who obsess almost unnaturally over the minutiae of things.

I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then "norms."

I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.

Every time I finish a record, it's sort of feels like, "I can't believe that I'm hanging out and having a conversation, and people are gonna listen to this." It's an odd thing, but it's really cool.

I think some of what makes it a good podcast is that it's organic. It doesn't feel forced. If we can say anything about ours, it's that we're not faking it at all. We're genuinely interested in the people that we're talking to.

I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

As someone who's very nerd-minded, whenever I see a lot of cross-platform stuff when I get bonus material on either side, then it makes me want to dive deeper, sort of like tearing apart the different pieces of the pie.

Worry is a misuse of your imagination.

What's more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.

I really don't have time "to Twitter," it's not something that should grab your day. That's a big misconception, actually, about the whole service. You don't go out of your way to tweet, you just post when you've got something. Hopefully, not while you're driving. It complements your life more than takes over your life.

The nerdist movement is less about consumers; there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.

We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s; we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy.

Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.

You don't need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.

We are in niche consumption mode, but 'niche' doesn't mean 'small' anymore. Niche can mean focused, and particularly with the Web, which is a global audience you can have something niche and still get 10 to 15 million views.

When you look at your freelance career, it's really like a mall. And if you look at a mall, it's a self-contained system that has a flow and logic to it. You'll probably have one or two really bigger jobs, those are like your anchor stores.

You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.

The goal of almost every comic is to find a comedy voice - a specific point of view that an audience can latch onto.

Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.

If you're looking to freelance, just get as many gigs going as you can, and you can make it work. It's about getting as many side projects as possible, keeping as many balls in the air as you can, and what you're doing, basically, is diversifying your portfolio, with the same kinds of rewards. One falls through, and you still have another one to work on.

Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.

The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

When I was growing up, I was as socially outcast as any nerd could possibly be. I was in the chess club, I brought D&D stuff to school, I had every game system you could imagine, I spent countless hours at arcades, computer camp, loud presence in the Latin Club. All that stuff.

The lifeblood of YouTube is sharing.

The 'Hipster Nerds' like stuff because they hate it. It's like they ironically like it.

I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.

I don't really read reviews and comments that much. There just isn't a lot to be gained from it.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

Don't tell television, but there is some superior programming being made on the Interwebz.

Bowling really was a big American sport in the '50s, '60s, and '70s, and then it kind of died off in the '80s.

The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

Any time you're lucky enough to get on a show people watch, it's a good thing.

A big company is like trying to steer a luxury liner.

Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have.

I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.

I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.

Nerdists, unlike nerds, tend to be creators as much as consumers. They're creative consumers.

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

In the '90s, you couldn't say the word 'nerd' to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn't have listened.

My mom is a big sports fans. Basketball, football, baseball, whatever. She calls into sports radio shows and gets into shouting matches, that's how intense she is about it.

If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.

I've been out of work so many times in my life that relying too much on just one job is terrifying.

I have opinions about the differences between Memphis barbecue and Texas barbecue. Put me in the kitchen and you'll see how Southern I can be.

I probably get one or two days off every five or six weeks.

The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.

Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?

I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object.

The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.

A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

It's so much easier to give advice than to take it.

I love the South. Although I grew up primarily in Memphis, my family moved around a ton when I was a kid. I guess I never stayed in one place long enough to pick up the accent, but I definitely identify as a Southerner.

Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.

Rats are just Ziploc bags full of disease.

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.