Fred A. Allen Quotations

What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement

Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne-sounds like a trunk falling down a flight of stairs.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk

There's good cops, but there's more bad cops than good cops around here.

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room left for three caraway seeds and an agent's heart