Marty Feldman Quotations

The pen is mightier than the sword, and is considerably easier to write with.

I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.

It could be worse... It could be raining

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

Money can't buy poverty.

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.