Rita Rudner Money Quotations

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.