My fellow Americans, there's an old saying that ""nothing spreads so quickly as a rumor,"" so I thought it was time to speak with you directly, to tell you first hand about our dealings with Iran.
My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.