W. C. Fields Witty Quotations

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

I like children - fried.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.