Daniel Tosh Gay Quotations

At least gays don't kill babies before their due date.

Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.

I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house...

This is what I say to the most conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal. Just because the state says it's legal, it's not like God's going to let them into Heaven. So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates.

How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.

God does not hate gay people. He's just mad because they found a loophole in His system.