Demetri Martin My Favorite Quotations

Usually my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.

I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.