My primary assessment would be because American Christians tend to be incredibly self-indulgent, so they see the church as a place there for them to meet their needs and to express faith in a way that is meaningful for them.
All the evidence you need to prove God is waiting within you to be discovered.
It is not balance you need but adaptability.
We need both to aspire and accomplish. Without a vision for your life, without a sense of purpose, you will begin to die a slow death.
The church is not here to meet our needs. We are the church here to meet the needs of the world.
The world doesn't need more great leaders, it needs more great people who lead.
You need to remember who God is, forget the painful wounds and let Him renew you.