Why is it that most of the folks I know think "personal growth" is caused entirely by those second and third helpings of biscuits and gravy?
I think that Shakespeare is a s***. Absolute s***! He may have been a genius for his time, but I just can't relate to that stuff. "Thee and thous" - the guy sounds like a faggot.
I think it's pathetic that women and men treat each other worse than we treat our pets. It's love or hate.
I think I know it all, relatively speaking.
When you really think about it, I'm not delusional enough to think that what I do is important to life as we know it on this planet. No. But neither is what you do.
I'd like to think that the boring lady who's talking to me now is a lot sexier and more interesting than the one who's doing NPR. You know, studious and reserved, and - I bet you're a lot of fun at a party.
When I meet a woman, I don't think, 'Gee, I wonder if she's read the latest thesis by Stephen Hawking? I think, 'Great tits.'
If you're lucky, you don't think in a straight line.