Jimmy Fallon Jobs Quotations

I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.' That's my job; that's what I do.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

When I was a kid, you would tune in to 'The Tonight Show' before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it's a privilege of mine to be able to be in people's homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.

Senate Democrats blocked President Obama's trade bill yesterday because they're worried it could hurt jobs. It's not an issue for Republicans, since they've all found work as presidential candidates.

A tell-all book by David Axelrod, one of President Obama's former strategists, reveals that Obama chose Joe Biden as his VP because of his energy and enthusiasm. You know, the qualities you look for in someone whose main job is traveling to state funerals.

I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks, Bo Obama.'

According to a new study, the marijuana in Colorado is almost twice as strong as it was 20 years ago. Of course, people had some questions for the scientists, like 'How can I get your job?'

President Obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. And Obama asked the guys what was it like to lose their jobs, and they were like, 'Oh, you'll see.'

When NBC told me I got the job, I asked, 'Can we do it from New York?' There was just silence on the phone

In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that one of the jobs that prepared her to be president was sliming fish in Alaska. As opposed to Bill, who learned by catching crabs in Cancun.

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.

Donald Trump announced that he's running for president. During his speech he told the crowd that if elected he would be 'the greatest jobs president that God ever created.' Then God said, 'Hey, don't drag me into this publicity stunt.'

A new poll found that 43 percent of Americans think President Obama is doing a good job at handling the BP oil spill. Of course, the same poll found that 43 percent of Americans hate pelicans.

Barnes & Noble CEO William Lynch just announced that he is stepping down after three years. When asked if he's looking for a new job, he was like, 'Nah, just browsing.'

The Tonight Show didn't seem like an actual job that you could have. All you remember is you watched Johnny Carson, and you never thought he would retire.

My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.

When you were a kid, [work in IBM] seemed like an awesome job. I'd get to go to work and have a briefcase. I loved how Dad wore a tie and got a car. I didn't know if all those things came together. I'd see my dad go off to work and we'd wait for him to come home, and we'd all be excited to see him.

A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs.

Wearing shorts is a huge perk. I think it's probably one of the reasons people become mailmen. You also get to drive in that vehicle that should be illegal in the United States, where the steering wheel is on the other side. They have no rules! They are the punk rock of government jobs.

You've never had a job that you thought was secure. You don't think the Tonight Show is risk free. Especially when you saw what happened with your buddy Conan O'Brien. There is always a Plan B.I am ready to apply to the post office.