John Barrymore Funny Quotations

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.