Joy Maniscalco Quotations
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Bad Quotes
No one should ever feel bad about themselves when the hot guy talks to the ugly girl instead. There's nothing wrong with you. I'm sure you looked like a certified 20 and your cleavage was noteworthy. Don't go home and cry because, "no one even looked at you". I've solved this disturbing puzzle and here's the bottom line- She was drunk, he was horny. She was easy, and he'll just hit it from the back so he doesn't have to look at her ugly face.
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Believe Quotes
I don't believe chivalry is dead, but I believe it's on the cusp. Listen, no one is expecting Frank Sinatra on their date. I'd probably laugh if a guy threw his coat on the floor for me, but there's no reason a guy shouldn't have common courtesy and respect for the woman he's interested in.
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Funny Quotes
Have you looked around lately? There are more muffin-top, camel-toe, wedgie-assed women on the street than hotdog stands! These women need to take a hard look in the mirror, and be honest with themselves. No one knows what size is labeled on the inside of your clothes. Please, for the love of God, buy the bigger size, because we're all a bit tired of looking at the outline of your labia!
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Bloom Quotes
The grass always looks greener on the other side. Do we ever stop to think why? Maybe it's because we neglect our own grass...sometimes we stop watering it and it dries out, sometimes we let some weeds grow instead of pulling them out and sometimes we fail to recognize that new seeds need to be planted where the grass has become bare. In order for something to stay in bloom you have to nurture it, no matter what side of the fence you're on.
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Buy Quotes
Real love isn't ordinary. Real love isn't artificial. Real love isn't something you can buy or manufacture, because it's not something you can sell. It doesn't wash away with a rainy day or evaporate when things get too heated. It sustains itself because that's what your heart does, it sustains the rest of you.
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Aid Quotes
If you know someone is going to punch you, should you close your eyes and pretend it's not going to happen? or should you be alert, eyes wide open, ready to defend yourself? I don't know about you, but I'd rather see the punch coming than get hit when I'm not looking. Will I be in pain either way? Yes, but I'll have the band aid ready.
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Easily Quotes
I think nostalgia takes over when we think about people we once loved, and we tend to pick out all of the good parts. I could very easily sit here and say I still think about the one that got away, but the truth of the matter is that he didn't get away, he walked away...and I'm the girl he walked away from.
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Attention Quotes
If he is in fact 'unhappy in his relationship' it's not your job to console him. If his chick 'doesn't understand him' it's not your job to psychoanalyze him. If she's 'not paying enough attention to him' it's not your job to dote over him. It's certainly not your place to do any other 'job' either, if you catch my drift.