Every man serves a useful purpose: a miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.
The man who is always waving the flag usually waives what it stands for.
Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade.
Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean.
There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.
A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.
In the country of the blind, the one-eyed king can still goof up.
Middle age is when the best exercise is one of discretion.
A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.
The man who believes he can do it is probably right, and so is the man who believes he can't.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
Computers can solve all kinds of problems except the unemployment problem they create.
A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him.
Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
The machinery of government is a vast series of interlocking hierarchies riddled through and through with incompetence.
All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control future events.