Les Dawson Law Quotations

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.