Mark Twain American Author Quotations

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Never put off till to-morrow what you can do day after to-morrow just as well.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.