Mark Twain Happens Quotations

Well, we can take you to meet Napoleon -- but he's shining the boots of the person who actually was the world's greatest military genius. He happens to have been a tinsmith from Pennsylvania who never had a chance to go to a military academy -- so he never even knew he was a great military genius. He was born with that capacity -- and only here in heaven do we actually know who these people are.

Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.

I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.

I told you this would happen. But, no, you had to go for the buffet, didn't you?

Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?