P. J. O'Rourke Alcohol Quotations

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.

Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.