P. J. O'Rourke Dating Quotations

Dates used to be made days or even weeks in advance. Now dates tend to be made the day after. That is, you get a phone call from someone who says, "If anyone asks, I was out to dinner with you last night, okay?"

Men generally pay for all expenses on a date ... either sex, however, may bring a little gift, its value to be determined by the bizarrness of the sexual request to be made later that evening.

Dating is the social engagement with the threat of sex at its conclusion.

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.