Paul Dickson Quotations

Why is he called the shortstop? Why do they call it a bunt?

TV trains us to watch the ball, but you need to see how the outfielders move around, where the infielders are positioned,

The great comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

The more innocuous the name of a weapon, the more hideous its impact. Some of the most horrific weapons of the Vietnam era were named 'Bambi', 'Infant', 'Daisycutter', 'Grasshopper', and 'Agent Orange'. Nor is the trend new: from the past we have 'Mustard Gas'', 'Angel Chasers' (two cannonballs linked with a chain for added destruction) and 'The Peacemaker' to name but a few.)

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

The great comfort of turning forty-nine is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Don't bite the hand that has your allowance in it.

Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time.

May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it.

Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.

Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice that is desired.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is impossible.

Accuracy, Rule of, Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

No experiment is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.

A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.

Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.

The odds are six to five that the light in the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.

The human hand is made complete by the addition of a baseball.