American Entertainer Quotations

A clown's makeup and character, that's all he has to sell. He loves and believes in that character.

If you step on people in this life, you're going to come back as a cockroach.

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune.

It might be, it could be... it is! A home run!

A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once.

If I go to a seminar and someone like you or someone like him is talking, I'm never part of the group that rushes him directly afterward. I always wait in the back corner with my head down until everyone is gone, and then I go up and do my thing.

Children are so used to seeing puppets that when they see a real ventriloquist they don't understand it.

We constantly run lines together before every show too, and then there's a long, traditionally long, story to tell the audience every show. Today, we're doing it twice.

In reality, those rare few cases with good forensic evidence are the ones that make it to court.

Tell me, Connie, is your mother still dead?

'Weary Willie' is very real to me. He is a man who has given up. The boat has gone and left him. The cards are stacked against him. He's content to make out with what he's got. He knows he'll go no further.

Regis has a great rapport with the American public.

Never invest in anything that eats or needs painting.

It's the fans that need spring training. You gotta get 'em interested. Wake 'em up and let 'em know that their season is coming, the good times are gonna roll.

I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.

Martin Luther King, Jr. didn't carry just a piece of cloth to symbolize his belief in racial equality; he carried the American flag.

On television, everyone talks and they don't care about the mechanics.

By laughing at me, the audience really laughs at themselves, and realizing they have done this gives them sort of a spiritual second wind for going back into the battles of life.

But there's always a Mass. It's not a formal Mass at all. We're sitting around her dining room table with wine and Eucharist and holding hands. It's very informal and small, but to me that's a wonderful way to have Mass.

You go to work, tape five shows in one day and then go home and play golf for the rest of the week and then start the week all over. I thought if something like that came along, I'd love to do that.

I don't think so, in so far as I always aspired to play the way I do now but just couldn't get the sounds out always due to technical limitations - now I can pretty much play what I hear in realtime.

Every radish I ever pulled up seemed to have a mortgage attached to it.

You get a letter from her agency embracing you into the family that says, 'It is our goal now to help you achieve your dream of being a songwriter, in John's memory.'

Walt gave me a VIP tour of the studio. I remember people doing voices.

This play is truly a great invention, and we're having a great time doing it eight times a week.

The one noticeable similarity with almost all serial killer victims is their short height and low weight.

The hair is real - it's the head that's a fake.

Incongruity, they say, is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's because everybody can feel superior to me. I honestly don't know.

There are also always those burnt, hard kernels at the bottom that don't pop. You know why they don't pop? They don't pop because they have integrity.

So now my road map has changed and I don't have a really clear idea of what the next stops are.

And then I did one called High Rollers and that was a lot of fun.

It requires more strength to be gentle, so it's the everyday encounters of life that I think we've prepared children for and prepared them to be good to other people and to consider other people.

Being nominated is a great thrill, and we like to say that all four of us were nominated, which means that our director, Anthony Page was nominated four times.

There are two kinds of serial killers as far as the victim is concerned: the kind that you don't see before they pounce on you and the kind you see and don't expect to pounce on you.

Young man, if God had wanted you to see me that way, he would have put your eyes in your bellybutton.

I haven't had a stationary home since going with the circus, but since my parents lived in Lafayette about 25 years ago and my sister lives here now, I always claim it as home.

I have no doubts that it will be a major sport-in the United States. I'm probably not going to live to see that day because Americans are a little afraid of getting interested in something at which they're not very good.

It's real good to be back with you again this year.

I figure anything over 13 weeks in this business is pretty good.

He asked if I was a songwriter, and I said yeah, that I was in town because I'd won this contest. He said, okay, then he was gonna play me his hit, and started singing 'When it's time to relax, one beer stands clear... '

I first met Walt Disney 25 or 30 years ago.

People keep telling us, that they didn't know when they were booking tickets for it, but afterwards they say that they've had no sense that they were watching an old fashioned play.

And I wouldn't take on such a big thing if I didn't think I could nail it.

The stadiums are like none I've ever seen. I think there must have been some strong competition nationally between Korea and Japan to make the best facilities because they are very well designed.

Well, I'm using a cane, so what? So what if they shot me sitting in a wheelchair? That's life!

I have a studio at home, and do 3 hours a day that way.

The fact is that we like each other very much, and we of course see each other on stage all the time, but this means more time to spend together, and that's great. We couldn't be happier.

Often I am asked if there is any such thing as a female serial killer.

Our show proves that some pretty incredible things can happen when people come together.

If I went in to pitch this show to a network, I would be laughed out of the room.

I'm curious about everything. Even subjects that don't interest me.

One gets the impression that this is how Ernest Hemingway would have written had he gone to Vassar.

In reality, serial killers are of average intelligence.

Oh, gosh, okay... well, my biggest injury was probably a bone chip in my ankle that required surgery.

Finally, I get to have houseplants and they stay alive.

It is my contention that most people are not mugged every day, that most people in this world do not encounter violence every day. I think we prepare people for violence, and I think just as importantly we prepare people for the definition of being gentle.

While I shared many of the same emotions Bill describes, in no way did my experience ever degenerate into the grimness I find in his book - I didn't have to live with Don, and I think that made a big big difference.

Telling the community a serial killer is out there stirs up a lot of unpleasant attention.

In some ways, her life is so much worse that everybody else's, people feel almost cheered up and inspired. They feel like, 'If Hayley hasn't killed herself, why should I?'

There's only two kinds of music I don't like... Country and Western.

So after being with somebody for any number of days like that, you can't help but feel for them. You can't help them, but you certainly can root for them.

Often, a serial killer has no felony record.

I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

We have an incredible national forest service, and we have an incredible child outreach program that the president has put together. I don't see anything wrong with national service for a minimum of two years. If we were to require that, we wouldn't need a draft.

And in the future, you know, maybe there's kids in the future for me, I don't really know. The interesting thing with me is that there has never been a woman doing what I'm doing at this level for this long. So, it's like, would Vince give me maternity leave?

The people at home don't care what your problems are. They just know that you're doing that show and you're supposed to do the best you can do. It's not a 9-5 type of job. I've considered myself very lucky to do that kind of work.

The accepted definition of a serial killer is a person who kills at least three times with a cooling off period in between his murders.

What upset me the most was not that I would die, but that I was letting down my parents. I felt very guilty for chasing this dream career of mine, at the expense of my parents.

In two days, it's hard to to get the quality you would normally want for a design project.

When you look at Regis, he really and truly does feel for those people, and I feel like I've done it too. You're giving away somebody else's money so what do you care? It's not your money.

Evidence can vary depending on the circumstances, the weather, and how long it has been hanging around.

No one tells every white person in this country how to be. No one tells every Hispanic, or Asian or Jewish person in this country how to be. There is no single definition of whiteness or single definition of blackness.

I can't help thinking if she - the director of a government agency - is this ignorant about what funding is available and where the money comes from - how often lower-level bureaucrats must give wrong answers when people are looking for help to start a business.

Outside of dumb luck, the number one way serial killers are caught is through the help of the public.

Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.

There are lighter colors of granite and I like to break the rules.

We assume people we know can't be serial killers.

My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you I the best place for the next moment.

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.

I feel like there's a world of possibilities out there.

While we are being fascinated by the tales of famous serial killers and how they were brought to justice, the real serial killer goes about his business with hardly a thought to being caught.

The demand for standup in the eighties was created by how easy it was to exploit 'comedians' and create very cheap television programming.

I think there's a little bit of sizzling here. Honestly, I can feel it. The ions are flying back and forth.

While there are many wonderful police investigators out there doing some very fine work, the majority of the time it is not brains that catches serial killers.

The development of the comedy club industry destroyed the uniqueness and intimacy of the profession but it also created jobs for comics and bred some great performers.

What does signature mean? Supposedly these are the added touches that make the crime personal to the killer.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

I was supposed to be the antithesis of Frank.

Last year, when we were in Mobile, Al., covering Hurricane Ivan, we heard the stories of poor people, many of them black stranded downtown because they had no way out.

Most well-known serial killers have victims numbering in the dozens, have sent taunting letters to the police or have done bizarre things to the bodies.

If the government did a good job of publicizing this information, my products wouldn't sell.

Marlo taught me things I thought I knew.

Nowadays, with much more racial and ethnic mixing, we are seeing serial killers murdering a variety of victims; whoever comes along will most likely do.

My business has doubled in ways I couldn't have imagined.

They were terrified that we were going to become an anti-war kind of platform.

I've enjoyed being a part of something from the beginning, when we were still finding our footing.

I really like it that they promote from within.

Using MO to link crimes can be problematic.

My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by, 'So... you're black.'