Comedy Quotations | Page 5

I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or their sensibility.

I love comedy; so you want to make them happy, make them laugh.

That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.

The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me. Every night I had a live audience of 25,000 people to win over. My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.

Acting by yourself is pretty darn hard, especially having to do physical comedy.

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them.

Dad loved movies, and I grew up with British comedy. My ultimate favourite is Peter Sellers.

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

You know what I would really like to do? I'd like to do a half hour drama with comedy in it.

Big comedy is good, I like things that are big, but good comedy has to be truthful I think and has to reflect some sort of reality.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I was going out for absolutely everything that was in Backstage.

I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.

When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.

As a card-carrying space nerd and NASA's chief scientist, I love space movies, from 'Star Trek' to 'Star Wars' to my all-time favorite - 'The Dish', an Australian comedy that celebrates that first moment when Neil Armstrong stepped down onto the surface of our moon.

I'm a laugher and a lover of comedy.

I've had a wonderful time in 'Foyle's War' and I don't mind being typecast. But I'm not prim. I'm chaotic, happy, and desperate to have some laughs. I'd love to do a comedy next, or something modern.

Comedy is a very, very, very stringent business.

I do as much comedy as I possibly can, but I'm basically limited by the imagination of the secretaries who make the decisions.

Well my biggest dream is to be in a romantic comedy.

I think comedy has to come from a real place. It has to come from an honest place.

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Philip Seymour Hoffman character in 'Almost Famous,' in my life, and there just wasn't. It was really frustrating for me because I desired that so much.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

You do what it takes. It was on me to deliver.

I'm sorry, but I can't make a movie with the blonde from 'ER' who is starring in every single bad romantic comedy.

I want to do dramas. I want to do comedies.

What you aspire to on a sitcom is the feeling of live comedy.

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

I watched a lot of comedy growing up.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

I enjoy the work I do in comedies. It's a valid test of your creative abilities.

For a comedy to work, magic has to happen.

All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that's all people know how to do when they're improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other.

In terms of the romantic kind of lead, I just never enjoy those movies very much. Maybe they'll come to interest me more as I get older. I doubt it, but maybe. Romantic comedies tend to be, for me, an oxymoron.

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

I like comedy. I would love to do comedy for a long time.

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.

The trouble with a series as it gets older is it can feel like a tradition, and tradition is the enemy of suspense, and it's the enemy of comedy. It's the enemy of everything, really. So you have to shake it up.

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

I definitely am a huge lover of comedy, and it's only through doing so many comedies that I've realised how much of an influence they've been on me.

For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.

Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

Even if you didn't see the movie, you'd see two words you'd never seen put together before - comedy and Muslim. Comedy is friendly - it's the least offensive word in our language.

People who do comedy are always underrated because they make it look so easy.

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

To me, horror and comedy never work. Never worked for me, anyway.

I know nothing about love and romance, so I prefer to stick to just comedy.

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

Sometimes I make very selfish choices; like I did 'Once Upon A Time' for my inner 8-year-old and my hypothetical future child. I've done some movies because I would regret them if I didn't, but other projects I've done because they've scared me or if I felt I needed to do a big romantic comedy to help me professionally.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.

I don't like this young crudeness now which is supposed to be comedy on Friday nights.

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

I'm not a child star, but you could say that I've grown up on TV. I went from being an unknown, down-and-out comic from Brooklyn and the Bronx to being a regular character on a major network comedy called 'Martin.' From there I went on to become the most notable black comic on 'Saturday Night Live' since Eddie Murphy.

I do films that I like. I have done comedy, romance, everything, and I always like to do it differently from the previous ones.

I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.

Comedy is very hard, but you have to learn the art and science of it.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

Comedy is a universal language. I grew up watching Nagesh, Surilirajan, Thenga Srinivasan and S.V. Shekhar's comedies. And, of course, Charlie Chaplin! These artists are so blessed: they can make other people happy.

Comedy is the most difficult thing to do. Easily the most difficult.

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.

I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.

Obama was elected on a slogan of hope and change because both were in short supply: the military exhausted by two wars, the banks failing their public trust, the U.S. Congress a comedy of dysfunction, and a federal government that seemed designed to idle on the sidelines.

I'll continue to make the typical Adam Sandler comedies.

When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.

The Westerns I like aren't really comedies. I'm drawn to the scope of them and the land as a central character.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.

Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

I love doing comedy. It's a lot of fun.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup.

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

I have a lot more fun making comedies because there's a levity on the set, and I find it difficult to go to work and, you know, cry for 12 hours.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.

I'd like to classify my life as a romantic comedy. Unfortunately I feel it's probably more like a TV reality show.

I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.

Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.

I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to.