Cow Quotations

I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that's exactly what you'll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you'll never be worried with a human audience.

It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'll tape a bunch of cats together to make a cow', and it's like, 'Why don't you just use a cow?'. For some reason that is novel - like, 'Oh, my guitar sounds like a piano and now if I can just get my piano to sound like my guitar'.

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow

Growing up, I was a little hippie kid. I went to some good concerts... Amnesty International with Bob Dylan and Tracy Chapman... The best concert I ever went to was this one at the Cow Palace my freshman year in college on New Year's Eve. It was Pearl Jam opening for Nirvana opening for Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I couldn't kill a chicken, I couldn't kill a cow - I was a vegetarian too at that time - so I thought, well what is there that I could kill? I couldn't kill this and I couldn't kill that.

Mostly I want to talk positive; I wanna talk about a bunch of great kids that I coached and made me look good and the university that I've seen grow from a cow college, which it was, only 12,000 people, and when I came here, we weren't at Pennsylvania State University, we were at Penn State College.

Then a neighbor, Mr Smith, had a dairy cow and an couple bulls. He showed me how to bluff a bull.

Here's the thing: I was charming. Well read and well spoken. Observant and even kind. In other words, I was kind of a catch. And I knew this was true. As long as you couldn't see me. If you saw me, you'd think I was the sea cow that had swallowed your catch.

The cow, basically, eats three basic things in their feed: corn, beets, and barley, and so what I do is I actually challenge my staff with these crazy, wild ideas. Can we take what the cow eats, remove the cow, and then make some hamburgers out of that?

We applaud the farmer who did the right thing by turning over the sick cow in question to a veterinarian for testing.

We believe that the likely impact from this case of mad cow will be positive -- not negative -- for our restaurant names,

We know when a man can't milk a cow and this man can't milk a cow,

The cow knows not what her tail is worth until she has lost it

The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat

When you're a cash cow like Federated, you should invest in a growth business and not another buggy whip company.

(When thinking about the Ruth character) I have a terrible image in my mind of a cow going to slaughter. There's not a lot of fight in them. Pigs, they'd squeal and thrash around. They'd fight. It's almost as if cows don't know they have a choice. Not that they don't panic, but they do so in a quiet way.

Scrimshaw on cow horns is only common in Australia, and in the Wild West. It usually involved ex-seamen who had learnt their skills carving whale bones, then ended up on the land.

O dice, yield play, profitable as a cow that is rich in milk! Bind me to a streak of gain, as the bow (is bound) with the string!

No one asks the cow or the chicken where it gets its protein. I eat about 4,000 or 5,000 calories a day, and I cook for myself. I also have a line of cooks that work with me - some raw, some vegan.

Numbered squares will be drawn on the football field, and if the cow does his business in the lucky person's square, he wins $1,000.

Never would it occur to a child that a sheep, a pig, a cow or a chicken was good to eat, while, like Milton's Adam, he would eagerly make a meal off fruits, nuts, thyme, mint, peas and broad beans which penetrate further and stimulate not only the appetite but other vague and deep nostalgias. We are closer to the Vegetable Kingdom than we know; is it not for man alone that mint, thyme, sage, and rosemary exhale ''crush me and eat me!'' -- for us that opium poppy, coffee-berry, tea-plant and vine perfect themselves? Their aim is to be absorbed by us, even if it can only be achieved by attaching themselves to roast mutton.

I don't know about that. I've got to talk to someone about that. Cow bingo is more important than the baseball game? I don't know.

I believe very strongly that no jurisdiction in this country has shown that they have been hurt by their inability to impose discriminatory taxes against the Internet, ... State and local governments have a right to be concerned about where their revenue is coming from, but they should not be able to view the Internet as a cyber cash cow and treat it differently from other forms of commerce.

I believe that this is really going to help the market for people who are selling beef. But, the whole mad cow deal is going to make it a little bit harder for us to get back to what we were just a few years ago.

I am very concerned about the actions of USDA to close beef processing plants in Montana. The timing of this action is disturbing. We hope USDA is not taking this action in retribution for MCA, R-CALF USA and Governor Schweitzer's recent actions to protect the Montana cow herd from Canadian bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE). Governor Schweitzer purchased a 4-H pig during the Lewis and Clark County Fair, and that carcass is hanging at the Butte plant targeted for closure by USDA.

Based on this new research, if just one infected cow entered the US feed supply and the brain and spinal cord of that animal were maximally dispersed in feed, it could potentially infect 45,000 other cows. That's why we have to be extremely vigilant about keeping any infected animal material out of feed and food.

Based on this new research, if just one infected cow entered the U.S. feed supply and the brain and spinal cord of that animal were maximally dispersed in feed, it could potentially infect 45,000 other cows. That's why we have to be extremely vigilant about keeping any infected animal material out of feed and food.

If, what is learned is not put into practice, the student is like a cow that does not yield milk; a fruit lacking in taste, a book bereft of wisdom.

He who lets the goat be laid on his shoulders is soon after forced to carry the cow

He is a good athlete. He is the bell cow of their defense. They structure their defense around him. He makes the calls and he runs the alleys well. He keeps everybody aligned so that they do not get out of position. He is a dangerous football player.

The people understand that this is a new era for our state. People will be led to believe the lottery is a cash cow for education, and it's not.

We've engineered them to have a bovine gene. In that way they've now become susceptible to mad cow disease,

What we wanted was to bring the outside in. We're in the country, and we wanted to set the house in the midst of horse pasture and cow paddock.

Having one cow in a 12 month period, which is what it's been since they (Canada) had their last one, does not change the minimal risk standards that Canada falls under. So it should not disrupt trade in any way.

Just so many times before, we've had a lead in the bottom of the seventh and then not come away with the win. I mean, holy cow, their pinch hitter comes up with two outs and two strikes and slaps an outside fastball by the second baseman, and you go holy cow again. I mean, you think, what do we have to do to win?

It bore absolutely no resemblance to the 'rude cabin' described by racial detractors, ... and was surrounded by a bake house, a milk house, a smokehouse, a chicken house with '44 big hens,' a workhouse, a cow house, and a barn that housed '30 big horned beasts.'

I think the biggest thing I remember was there are so many animals in this state named Kirby, and if somebody had a cow or a horse, they named it Herbie. I was always second fiddle to Puck, and I loved every minute of it.

It is often that a cow does not take after its breed.

I think that's unjustified criticism. We have had a number of measures in place in this country for several years to mitigate the possibility of mad cow spreading in this country. We have found a single case.

Kyle surely would like to throw the ball more, but he understands who the bell cow on this team is. Even though the numbers don't look very good, I'm very comfortable thus far with his decision-making process.

Passing from mouth to mouth it was learned by a thousand, and by the time it came to be heard by the king he learned of how a cow laid an egg!

People have gone to sleep on HIV. We know more about mad cow disease in England or the bird flu.

I'm seriously considering eliminating the cow hunts on the unit (Unit 43).

Mostly, whenever I'm booked to do instruction, I just play a little bit and get people to ask questions. We'll play some music for 'em, 'til somebody hollers out, 'Play 'Milk Cow Blues' or 'Play 'San Antonio Rose.' We play requests and demonstrate our music.

Whoever is fond of cream should take the cow around with him.

We don't eat cow or pig -- the industry for a long time has been saying why do we eat kangaroo?

were covered in hundreds of pounds of cow intestines, which they had to puncture with their mouths, suck out the liquid, fill a glass with it then drink the juice.

We wanted to make an album that sounds like our band, and not a heady, self-conscious studio project. Everyone tells us rock and roll is a shadow of itself--a sad old milk cow smiling at the farmer every morning. We still see a bucking bull smashing around the stable.

We have come to Your Sanctuary, God. Without milk, a cow serves no purpose.

We could go anywhere we needed to go. I grew up in Knoxville on the half-miles and Sioux Falls on the quarter-miles and I love these quarter-miles as well as the half-miles, but when you've got a car working like this it's like, 'Holy cow it's fun to race.'

The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail.

We'll spend that one billion euros for mad cow disease, but that's all, because there's no more money left.

We shouldn't wait for a major outbreak of mad cow disease to take greater preventive action. There is no question that we should not be feeding the remains of any mammals to food animals, and by not closing this dangerous loophole, we are exposing the American public to unnecessary risk.

We believe the combination of American General with AIG is a great platform, ... We have a very good, but small, domestic life insurance business, and this will enhance it. Home Life is not the business we would go out building today, but it has been a cash cow for American General and it enhances the kind of business we want considerably.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"?

Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said," I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?

We concluded that with regard to the risk of mad cow disease, the difference between Japanese beef and meat from American cattle aged 20 months or below is very small.

We have been playing Russian roulette with our food supply for years by allowing these downer animals into the food chain, ... This much-needed legislation will codify a temporary administrative ban on the processing of downer cattle and it will expand the ban on the processing of other downer livestock. Animals too sick or injured to walk are a higher risk for mad cow disease, E. coli and salmonella, and they suffer terribly when they're dragged to slaughter.

This whole issue of cow sharing or cow condos is something that we in the agency are looking into and the industry also is asking us about. We're going to need to address what is going on and what our position needs to be.

There has been no impact on Wendy's recent sales trends over the past three days (Friday through Sunday) since the announcement by the USDA that confirmed a single cow from a farm in Washington State tested presumptive positive for BSE,

Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?

Yet true it is, as cow chews cud,/ And trees at spring do yield forth bud,/ Except wind stands as never it stood,/ It is an ill wind turns none to good.

But mad cow disease is a serious concern that has been undersold by this administration and their industry allies.

You are sitting in peace (unharmed): as the nose of a cow that feeds among thorntrees and shows no scars. Luganda, Uganda

Whats wrong about eating cows? What do you think god made them for? Their big, their stupid, their delicious. You want more reasons? I never met an animal more prepared to die than a cow. Next time you go to the farm look at a cow in the eyes, it is begging you for a bullet.

The Purple Cow had a barber shop. There's just a ton of history here. It's kind of reliving itself again.

USDA says pink slime, which is made of cow connective tissue and other scraps and then treated with ammonia to kill the salmonella, e Coli, potentially, the U.S. Government says it's totally safe.

We went through a time when people shrunk from the idea of cow town, ... I think we have reconciled. We are proud of our Western heritage.

Better a good cow than a cow of a good kind.

As the cow shows her love to her strayed calf when she finds it, and as the bride shows her love for her husband when he returns home, so does the Lord's humble servant love to sing the Praises of the Lord.

Duffy was after the calf, the cow came after Duffy and they all came after my dad.

There's nothing like putting your bare feet into fresh cow dung on a cold day. It's great.

is like the mad cow calling the herd rabid.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

People are thinking maybe there was an overreaction to the mad cow issue, and there is a little bargain hunting going on,

Often a cow does not take after its breed.

No self-respecting cow would graze here and I wouldn't blame her,

Bacteria become resistant in the gut of the cow and then, if we become sick from that form of bacteria, we can't be treated with the antibiotic because suddenly we're dealing with resistant strains.

This issue has been a cash cow for Congressmen, ... and if you make a deal, you kill the cow.

The Western blot test, which concentrates the brain sample, can detect mad cow disease in an animal at an earlier stage of infection. It is used in virtually all European countries and Japan.

A man who has no love in him is as barren as a cloud with no moisture, a tree with no fruits or a cow yielding no milk; he is ever far from God and can never earn His Grace.

This latest case of mad cow disease in Canada points to a significant North American mad cow problem.

About the time that the mad cow was discovered here and Japan shut its borders, people began to take part in the Atkins diet.

The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!? - Calvin and Hobbes

For Illinois, current cow numbers are 20,000 larger than those of three years ago and Ohio has added 37,000 cows in the last three years. Indiana, however, has seen beef cow numbers decrease.

It's like the cow that kicked the candle, that burned the barn, that started the Great Chicago Fire.

Daunte Culpepper couldn't hit a sleeping cow with a 10-yard pass, unless that sleeping cow happened to be wearing an opposing uniform, which rarely happens. Culpepper has thrown eight interceptions and no touchdowns. This can only mean one thing in Randy Moss's house: Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

Education has always been a sacred cow in state budgets. There's a constitutional responsibility to provide all students a decent one.

ECONOMY, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

Everyone is nice till the cow gets into the garden

The atmosphere was very comparable to a state football game. There were banners, rally rags, cow bells, about anything you could imagine.

It's important to realize that all six cases of 'mad cow disease' identified in North America have involved downed animals. These animals, which are sick, diseased, or injured livestock incapable of supporting their own body weight, are many times more likely to carry diseases like this into our food supply. It's critical that Congress do what it can to prevent this contamination, and that these animals be dealt with humanely. I'm proud to once again join my colleague, Rep. Ackerman, in sponsoring this measure.

The U.S. has had fire walls in place to protect the cattle population from getting infected with mad cow disease and there are some gaps in these fire walls.

(The) USDA is trying to argue this cow was just one month over the age limit, but how many other Canadian cattle have come into the U.S. in violation of the age constraints, and how much past 30 months of age are they,

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

It's neat to know that someone in the audience knows what I'm going through backstage. I have a lot of fast, hot costume changes. It's really hot inside that cow costume.

Skinny Cow ice cream and candy - like dancing - brings a little bit of fun to your day.

The Chinese use every spare bit of an animal: cow lungs, pig ears, chicken feet, duck blood.

In December 2003, after pulling their heads out of the sand, the Department of Agriculture closed the barn door after the mad cow had already escaped, ... This bill will ensure that the door is never opened again to abusing sick animals, jeopardizing the public health, threatening the American consumer's confidence in the safety of our meat and potentially undermining a valuable sector of our economy.

I never met a cow I didn't like.