Funny Inspirational Quotations | Page 2

Sexism is so five minutes ago. I think for the most part, people accept that women are as competent as men.

I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself.

I'm in my dressing room about to play to a sold-out crowd at the O2 arena in Ireland. Name a female rapper who's ever done that and I will give you $100,000.

Software sucks because users demand it to.

Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong?

The standard four food groups are based on American agricultural lobbies. Why do we have a milk group? Because we have a National Dairy Council. Why do we have a meat group? Because we have an extremely powerful meat lobby.

This is a long-delayed, hard-won, and badly needed victory for millions of women.

You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.

Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.

Laughing, how can you fall asleep? It brings a state of no-mind and no-thought, and does not allow you to fall asleep.

Everyone always says to me, 'Why aren't there more people of color on television?' I'm like, 'Why don't you ask a bunch of people who aren't putting people of color on television why there aren't more people of color on television?'

Vince Lombardi says, you know, in my life there are three things: God, family, and the Green Bay Packers, in that order. For me, it's God, family, and Yahoo, in that order.

I guess good things come to those who wait.

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.

Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all.

The full area of ignorance is not mapped. We are at present only exploring the fringes.

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm.

The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.

My one goal when I started was not to actually vomit on TV or run away.

There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.

Men hunt I think maybe because they have something wrong with their own equipment and they need something else to shoot.

We all obsess about what we are doing and accomplishing. What if we let it go and simply made the way we live our lives our accomplishment?

All good things come to those who wait.

I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.

I've tried many different types of alarm apps, but the tried and true is the iPhone alarm. I like it because you can label your alarms. For my personal amusement, I've labeled them 3 a.m. for 'ridiculously early,' 3:30 is just 'early,' and 4 is 'slacker.'

There is really a je ne sais quoi about turkey cooking - the air of festivity, the family squabbles, the constant basting - that does not apply to the turkey breast, which is, really, a convenience of food... A turkey without seasonal angst is like a baseball game without a national anthem, a winter without snow, a birthday party without candles.

There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

I think there's something odd about eating another living anything.

Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt. That's why I love vegetables, you know what they're about!

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, "How can I improve the code so that this comment isn't needed?" Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.

Someone from Manolo Blahnik went into my shop and said: 'These shoes are not vegetarian.' That's the highest compliment, because you just can't tell that they are, and they are. My mum taught me to have a soul.

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't make them all yourself.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

Women and people of color and young people especially are about to have this amazing opportunity to shift the political conversation in this country for the good of all of us, toward more progressive policies, and it's a really amazing and important time to be part of that.

It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.

When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.

When all think alike, then no one is thinking

I've been vegan for about 10 and a half years. It's been all good. I'm obviously much healthier

I didn't want women to walk out of the dressing rooms feeling depressed and wanting a cocktail.

You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that the world is actually worth your sacrifices.

The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

In this business, by the time you realize you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone.

Hope is the dream of a waking man.

Truth is what stands the test of experience.

Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables.

According to the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, fish have feelings too. Whenever my sons go fishing they always tell me, "Dad it doesn't hurt a fish to get hooked." Well I watch and I see and I believe it's painful for the fish.

I’m glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and then before you know it, the times we had together were gone.

Poor empty pants With nobody inside them.

If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up.

So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

Killing animals for sport, for pleasure, for adventure, and for hides and furs is a phenomena which is at once disgusting and distressing. There is no justification in indulging is such acts of brutality.

The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.

The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.

I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.

I'm stopped. I'll never eat another burger.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence.

The rest of the world lives to eat, while I eat to live.

Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.

To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.

Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.

I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed.

Our favorite holding period is forever.

‎Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.