Hillarious Quotations

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.

She's so fat, she's my two best friends.

I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.

She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.