Masturbation Quotations

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

Clinton masturbates in the sinks.

Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy.

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

In masturbation there is nothing but loss.

Masturbation is great for the right arm

Masturbation is good for the right arm.

Masturbation is an absolutely peerless cure for the hiccups

German radicalism: freedom-masturbation.

Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines.

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

Philosophy is to science as masturbation is to sex.

What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

Women are denied masturbation even more severely than men and that's another method of control-they're not taught to please themselves.... Most women-it takes them a while to warm up to the "situation" but once they get into it, I'm sure they're going to get just as hooked as-well, everyone I know is!

Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.

Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!

I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life.

I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird.

It's what I call "mental masturbation", when you engage is some pointless intellectual exercise that has no possible meaning.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.

They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation.

Writing is like a mental masturbation to me.

Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.

Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!

Stars today are just masturbation images.

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

When they say take from my body, I think I'll take from mine instead. Getting off, getting off while they're all down stairs.

Novels, except as aids to masturbation, play no part in contemporary life.

The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.

But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!