Redneck Quotations | Page 2

You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn...

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are Howdy!, Hey! or How Y'all Doin'?

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

How is a redneck divorce similar to a tornado? You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.