Abe Lemons Quotations

You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.

Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody.

It was a hole in one contest and I had a three.

I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick.

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good.

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players.

Maybe it would be best for me to finish at 599. People seem to like you better when you finish just short.

You always catch the wrong players.

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?

We did have three go to the YMCA.

You mean in the state?

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

Coaches are creatures of habit. I knew a coach who got a deal going where his players had to run a mile in six minutes. I asked why. He said, 'gut check'.

I never substitute just to substitute. I play my regulars. The only way a guy gets off the floor is if he dies.