Bo Burnham Quotations

What's that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I'll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don't want to bully people, and I don't want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I'm actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn't say.

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you.

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.

And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost... my virginity.