Bryan Callen Quotations

You go into an audition, you're either the one or you're not, and if you're not, you go home. And I kind of like that. If you're really good, and you're the best guy in the room that day, you get the job.

My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the pasture. Cows bit me all over.

If you're the Rolling Stones, you can sing 'Start Me Up' for 35 years, and people still cheer.

One of the beautiful things about podcasting is that I'm not beholding to some public entity.

I don't know much, but I like talking to people who know a lot more than I do.

Comedy is surprise. Comedy is not something that you can, necessarily, do twice.

Being in quite a few movies... there's always things that are changing about a film.

I'm always driven to keep doing something different and better.

Stand-up comedy is all you. It's your show, it's your game. You control every aspect of it - of that experience and that expression. There's really nothing quite as satisfying.

If you actually get down to the nitty-gritty of the average Pakistani, the average Indian, the average whoever, what you really do know emotionally is that they're exactly the same.