I don't know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.
If you're playing baseball and thinking about managing, you're crazy. You'd be better off thinking about being an owner.
You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.
Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em.
I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.
I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.
Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.
I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.
The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.
They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.
I was not successful as a ball player, as it was a game of skill.
Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're going to try and win a pennant.
If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.
Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
There are three things you can do in a baseball game. You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks during batting practice.
You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight, chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do, it ain't worth it.
I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don't drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren't speaking and I said I'll take that drink.
Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start thinking we're not as good as we think we are.
The Yankees don't pay me to win every day, just two out of three.
Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before.
They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.
Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: You can win or you can lose or it can rain.
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a catcher who could handle the hot fastball.
The team has come along slow but fast.
The trick is growing up without growing old.
You gotta lose 'em some of the time. When you do, lose 'em right.
Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.
The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're likely to have a lot of passed balls.
The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.
It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.
The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.
Canzeroni is the only defensive catcher that can't catch.
Nobody knows this, but one of us has just been traded to Kansas City.
Take everything you can get over in center. The Dago's heel is hurting pretty bad.
What do you think, I was born at 60?
Son, it ain't the water cooler that's striking you out.
Charles Dillon "Casey" Stengel, nicknamed "The Old Perfessor", was an American Major League Baseball right fielder and manager. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1966...